It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
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Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
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Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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