Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
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Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize