Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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