this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
They should really pass out barf bags in church
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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