So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize