Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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