I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
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He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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