I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
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Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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