I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize