one word: firstdatebathroomanal
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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