are you still at the devil's house?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
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3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
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Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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