Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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