The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize