You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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