Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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