I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Help. Why am I so naked?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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