if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize