I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
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Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
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I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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