I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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