I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
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walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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