we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize