drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
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There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize