it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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