Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
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we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
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I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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