just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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