party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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