I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
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A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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