Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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