I swear she didn't look like that last week.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
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I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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