who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize