It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Shame is for Republicans.
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