Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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