Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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