what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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