ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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