I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
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Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize