hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
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You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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