She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I am one with the molecules
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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