my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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