Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
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all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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