you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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