She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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