You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
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I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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