3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
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She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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