Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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