After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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