he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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