benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize