It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize