grandma shit on top of the toilet
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize